When you don’t want to do it, what do you do?

Come on -

Focus!

Except I’m not.

It’s been a struggle all day. The dark oppressive sky. The wind thumping against the window. The rain a loud crashing cacophony of noise. It’s reflection of how I’m feeling.

When I first awoke, I hauled myself out of bed and went through the motions, ready to start work. But I really didn’t want to and I’ve been battling with myself for hours. The little voice inside of me knows what’s right, I’ve simply got to get on with it. I have a list of tasks that need to be complete, yet all I’ve done is superficial, and I’ll be kicking myself tomorrow for not having really accomplished anything.

After several hours of fiddling, I decide to walk away. Do something different. Perhaps gain momentum by doing something else and then coming back. It’s cold and blustery outside, so I make myself tea.

No, no that hasn’t worked.

I grit my teeth. I stare at my monitor screen in vain. My mind is blank.

Come on -

Just type!

Relief. A little envelope almost sparkles as it catches my attention. I read it eagerly, absorbing in every word. Then I close it and I sit there. Yes, it needs a reply. But I’ll reply later. When I’m in a better frame of mind.

Instead I go into my calendar and start to plan. Except I’m not really planning. I’m avoiding. And my task list is getting longer, as more emails come in and remain unanswered. I start fiddling again.

Come on –

Focus!

Just one thing to mark off your task list.

It’s getting late. I’ll have to stop shortly.

And suddenly I’m there.

I prioritise. I sort through my inbox. I reply to those that I can reply to quickly. I move the outstanding ones to a new folder marked ‘to do’. And I have just enough time and focus left to make real progress on one of my major tasks.

I’m ending my day with a mixture of frustration and regret at how little I feel I’ve got done. The 'fiddles' needed doing, but they really weren't the most urgent things on my list. And that panicked rush that ended work, carries me into the evening. I remain agitated into the night.

-------

Come on -

Focus!

I start the day by reading a chapter of a book. It’s work related, and I also enjoy reading. It’s dark outside, and the rain is pouring down.

I read a couple of paragraphs. Luckily this book is well written and I feel my attention being drawn in. The concepts and ideas are interesting, and I start to wonder how I might use this in my work. I pause for a moment and thoughts start to flow. I allow them time to take shape. By the end of the chapter, I have a new focus.

I’m staring at my monitor screen. My task list is long. I know I need to start.

Come on -

Okay, how about doing this…