Forming thread to weave a web

  • By Sian Taylor
  • 09 Jan, 2018

Rebuilding relationships

It feels like I’m walking on a thin thread and the air around me is thick with tension. I’m looking to cut my way through it without slipping or breaking the thread.

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I have only a matter of months. This means I have nothing to lose. I could be direct if I wanted to, tell it as I see it. To make things change I could ‘stir the pot’.

Except that’s never been my style.

I’ve often thought I should ‘be more brave’; be straight, upfront, disruptive.

It’s not my nature.

So I begin, as I always do when I find myself in a new situation. I listen. I listen to as many people as I can speak to. I listen to people in groups. I listen to them individually. I listen to them with curiosity and put judgement to one side.

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I start to build a picture in my mind, it’s like a spider’s web. Interconnections between people. And which strands pull which people.

Sometimes I pluck those strands by the questions I ask.

And I look for are the strands that are missing, the connections that need to be built.

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There’s frustration coming at me, from everyone I speak to. Yet there is a common sense of purpose that things need to change. There are themes

    Communication                               Respect               Roles and Responsibilities

            Trust                                   Support

 

I feel like this web needs to be weaved once again, connections re-established and strengthened. It’s going to take more than the few months I have.

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I’ve been asked for a solution. A way forward. I know there is only so much I can do, so I decide to strengthen the web as best I can, so eventually new connections can be created. How strong I can make web I’m not sure.

I work with management team, giving my thoughts, opinions and the feedback I have gathered.

I work with the technical group. Finding the opportunities where a compromise might be made.

I build relationships with as many people as I can, so that I can support the creation of links between the groups. I build in timelines and get agreement on delivery of pieces of work. I question some of the assumptions that people are making.

And I feel we start to make some progress.

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My time has come to an end. It feels incomplete. But I knew it was coming and my move on was already in place.

 

As I built the relationships and tried to strengthen the web of interconnections, I also created a vision, a possibility of what the future might look like. This has been taken on and I now know that my work here is done.

When I look back at the themes that people talked about when I first arrived, I’m circumspect as to how much I’ve achieved. I’ve done what I can to make things better and the feedback I’ve received has been positive. I know it’ll take time for those themes to be addressed, change doesn’t happen quickly and those themes that arose will always need to be worked on.

As I leave I feel that, if nothing else, I have at least given air to the grievances held and perhaps thinned a little of the tension, and created the opportunity for connections to be built.


If these experiences sound familiar and you'd like to talk to me about how I can help you, then get in touch


If these experiences sound familiar and you'd like to talk to me about how we could work together, then get in touch

sian@siantaylorcoaching.co.uk

07598 582787

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