Awash in a sea of responsibility

Overwhelmed. I feel like I’m drowning in a crashing wave of expectation and responsibility.

It’s the run up to Christmas. I’ve just stepped up into a new role, greater responsibilities, greater expectations, greater visibility. I believe I can do the job. There are a few skills I need to learn, and knowledge and experience I have to build. I’m familiar with the way the organisation works, the systems and infrastructure, so it should be a case of getting to know everyone, making the new connections I need to, sourcing some help for the parts of the role where I need some additional support and giving it a go. Right?

The first couple of weeks are packed with meetings. That’s good, I get to meet people. My immediate team, I start to get to know and build a connection with them. The research groups, at least putting names and faces together. Senior Management Team, I listen to the challenges ahead. Acronyms and a whole new research ‘language’ I’m not so familiar with, but I have time to learn that.

Then the questions start coming in.

I feel I’ve barely stepped into my new office, and already I’m being asked to make decisions. Answers to questions where I’m not fully cognisant of the context and can’t see the consequences of the answers I give.

It’s like I’m holding a small candle in the pitch-black giving instructions on how we should all move forward. And I can’t see the trees that might block the way or trip us up... or the cliff edges…

 

Of the responsibilities that are suddenly on my shoulders, I realise our financial position is quietly screaming for attention. We’ve hit the last quarter of this financial year. Somehow, I’ve got to get to grips with everything that’s happened over the last nine months and make sure we’re on track - balancing our expenditure with our annual budget. I don’t know where to begin. This was one of the areas I wanted to develop experience in. Looks like I’ve plunged into the deep end... just before a tidal wave hits.

The next three months are frantic. Not so much a learning curve, as a desperate flounder up a near vertical cliff face of water. Understanding the complexity of the budget structure, the numerous ways in which payments are made/tracked/monitored, learning a whole new financial ‘language’; words and terms I’d heard of, but never fully understood the implications of.

And whilst I’m trying to keep atop of the rising wave, there are all my other responsibilities buffeting me from all other angles.

We hit the last day of our financial year. I’m desperately making sure that I haven’t missed something important. I keep myself going thinking, at least tomorrow it’ll be done, there’ll be nothing more I can do.

Except it doesn’t quite work out like that. It’s a month later before I can finally see where we were at. And all the other responsibilities that I’d been clinging onto, are starting to shout at me. Coupled with a critical report, thinking about how I dealt with our financial year end is the least of my worries.

As I come to realise in later years, it’s always the same right up until the last day of each financial year. Experience simply brings methods to help me deal with the madness.

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It’s Christmas again. Suddenly the realisation that another financial year end is looming fills me with dread. It feels like I’m back at sea again. At least this time I’ve got nine months of expenditure knowledge behind me as we enter the last quarter, perhaps a lifesaver as the wave begins to build. A couple of pieces of major collaborative work start to pull me under and yet again I feel I’m struggling against a tide of time to get everything balanced.

I keep my head above water. We’re about balanced. But the last 4 months have left me drained. Even though we’re in report writing territory, I force myself to make time to plan how I’m going to do things differently this coming year. Last year active monitoring helped, and speaking with budget holders made a difference but it wasn’t enough. This time I make more proactive choices and where I see overlap and mutual benefit I negotiate with colleagues to jointly fund and share resources. It makes an impact for both the organisation and for me.

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As Christmas approaches once again.I've planned my work load more carefully knowing what's about to come.I’m more explicit with my team as to what I need from them in the coming months. I’m more clear with my Senior Management Team colleagues and the research groups as to what they need to be aware of, what to consider and what to do in the run up to the end of the financial year.

The final quarter of the year is busy. The wave of work and uncertainty grows as we head towards financial year end. This time the proactive choices I made earlier, my previous experience and awareness make a difference; I know what to expect and I have a better understanding of how I can deal with it. I’m more confident we’re going to be balanced.

The wave recedes and we’re in the new financial year. To my horror we overspent and I realise we need to make some adjustments. Overconfident? Perhaps. With all the monitoring systems my team and I have put in place, I still can’t quite account for the delay in the organisational system.

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The year has flown by and Christmas is upon us. I’m preparing for the final quarter of my fourth financial year end. I've developed a much longer term view that helps me guide activities, so they don't all fall within the last three months of each financial year andI've become better about saying "no". I’ve kept monitoring our finances, speaking with individual budget holders, tracking how well all of our expenditure maps to our overall annual budget. I’ve been proactive in seeking opportunities to ensure that the funds available are used in a way that most benefits us.

And looking back I realise that I’m closer to the shoreline now. I can feel the ground under my feet. I know that a wave could pull me back out to sea, but I believe I have enough strength that it won’t drag me under.

The light that was a small candle is now brighter, illuminating more around me. It’s become a lamp and I feel that I’m no longer making decisions in the dark, that now I have some sight to see a way forward.

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I would love to hear how you’ve coped when you’ve felt overwhelmed. Are there any thoughts or tips that have helped you?

Share your thoughts using your Facebook login in the comments below or tweet me @siantaylorcoach