What's it going to take to convince you?

The presentation had taken me hours to prepare. It wasn’t simply the slides I had created, I had diligently worked through all the information I was going to discuss, knew the background detail, facts and figures, inside out.

Yet the questions at the end made me realise I hadn’t won them over.

They were not convinced.

I got back to my desk. Exhaustion hit. My limbs were aching and a slightly sick feeling hit my stomach.

What did I miss?

What else could I have done?

The outcome was that I got some of what I requested, but not all, which is going to make things tough going forward.

The informal feedback was that I appeared tense.

Well, that wasn’t a surprise…

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I’m taking some deep breaths. Faking a smile that I’m sure is really a grimace. Someone catches my eye. This time my smile is real, though tinged with embarrassment.

Relax.

I shake my hands to stop the slight tremble.

The presentation prep has been the same as before. I have my arguments ready for the questions I believe are likely to come.

Presentation over, questions are as penetrating as before.

This time it feels a little different. A different atmosphere in the room.

The outcome is that I get the essential resources asked for and a bit more to cover supplementary work packages.

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I’ve been working with colleagues, sharing resources. My team has been supporting a number of projects not just mine. And I’ve had their support in return.

And rather than the organisational objectives sitting as bullet points in my mind, they are now closer to being jigsaw pieces which I’ve fitted together to create a more expansive picture in my mind.

This time I’m much clearer in my own mind about the wider impact of what I’m about to present.

The outcome is essential and additional resources are allocated to me.

It’s not everything I requested, and I’m expected to deliver on significantly more. It’s going to be challenging…

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It always felt like the goalposts moved.

I got more, more was expected.

More I had to deliver.

Or I would be going backwards.

But also the more I developed.

My relationships with others.

My understanding of the broader issues.

Unravelling the complexities.

Greater influence.

Greater impact.

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And that’s why I value time to reflect. There have been many times I’ve felt like I’ve been on a treadmill, a hamster wheel, running as fast as I can and going nowhere.

Yet stopping, looking back I can see just how much ground I’ve really covered. What I’ve learnt and what benefits that had for me and the impact it’s had for others. Whether the path has been straight or swerving, or a complete change in direction. Sometimes it’s only when you look back you can see how far forward you’ve really travelled.