First a jolt
Then a long pause
Trying to tread water whilst holding breath
And now…
A nudge?
A push?
A tug?
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Lockdown wasn’t completely a bolt from the blue, signs were there
something would happen before it occurred. Yet when it happened, it
felt like a jolt. The mad scramble to keep things going, to suddenly
and quickly find how to work from home, make sure that we could carry
on.
And as the effect
of the jolt subsided other aspects of
lockdown started to become apparent. The blurred lines of work life
and home life. Changes in routine. The loss of social
contact. The virtual space growing, becoming a life-line.
For some of us things changed radically, for others it’s been
adjusting, adapting, finding different ways to deal with what’s
happened. Yet it
feels like we’ve been held in
suspension. Waiting. A long pause.
And now. Now something has moved, like we’re on the cusp of another
change. Different again. Prolonging confusion over what’s the right
thing to do, deeper uncertainty about what the future looks like, a
driving need to ‘get on’. And how does that feel? A nudge? A
push? A tug?
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I’ve found it difficult to blog in recent weeks, finding myself
trying to grapple with what’s going on and feeling like nothing is
secure. So I’ve taken time trying to reflect on what positive
learning I might share, and here are some thoughts on what I’ve
learnt and unexpected moments that have shifted my thinking.
Deal with the jolt of crisis and then make sure to take time for
you
A sudden jolt tests everyone, the resilience of an organisation and
how people come together to get through it. Time is of the essence.
It’s stressful. Decisions are made quickly. Right or wrong is hard
to gauge, that comes with the luxury of hindsight.
There
are lessons to learn, to understand what
worked and what didn’t, preparing for the unexpected which may hit
again at any time.
But
after the initial surge of action, what then? Practicalities dealt
with, a mix of emotion can suddenly hit, led by questions that have
no answer and add to the discomfort
of uncertainty.
And
here’s the point to take a step back.
To understand where you’re at. How you’re feeling. The impact
it’s had on you. It’s easy to dismiss this when everything else
is shouting out for your attention.
I’ve had to carefully and deliberately make this space for me. How
about you?
As I held my breath in the long pause, I learnt some things that
surprised me a little
1. Calendars, task lists and clear goals
have not been as good as paying attention to my frame of mind
I’m a planner. Put it in my calendar and it’ll happen. Wellllll….
Okay, I procrastinate! But generally I find this helps me get stuff
done. Yet not so much when I’m feeling a bit adrift. And recently
I’ve felt adrift a long way out to sea.
What
I’ve noticed, particularly recently, is when I’m
the right frame of mind, I’ll find the time and energy to get stuff
done. And to get that frame of mind, that might mean doing something
non-work related first. Which is where the guilt kicks in. Difficult
to stop the ‘you should be working right now’ thoughts.
But having
sat at my desk, staring at the list of stuff to do, avoiding all of
it and then giving myself a hard time later, taking the time out at
the start of the day to get myself in the right frame of mind is
worth the time it takes. And more.
2. Some tried and tested techniques might need adaption
I’m not a great sleeper. Haven’t been for years. So periods of
restlessness and sleeplessness are not new. Usually holiday is when I
have better periods of sleep – a step back from work, a different
environment, much more physical activity. I find sleep.
Holiday
had been booked. But of course lockdown changed that.
Yet we decided to take the time away from work anyway. And my
expectation was that after having several weeks of poor quality
sleep, the break would help me find a sleep routine again…
Which meant it was a shock to find I felt I barely slept. At all.
Restless. Endlessly restless. So
much so I’ve had to re-evaluate my
sleep hygiene routine, and adapt what might work and look for
alternatives.
And it’s prompted me to think about other habits and routines that
I’ve relied on before that aren’t necessarily working as well
right now.
3. Re-establishing boundaries between home life and work life
Working from home. Then holiday at home. Then back to work, at home.
It all seemed to blur into one. The usual cues
just weren’t there.
Okay, so we slept in a little longer on holiday, we did different
things. But we woke up in the same room in the same place.
The view out of the window was the same. What we ate and drank, the
same. The
holiday was more like a loooooong weekend.
A break, but also not quite a break from work. It still hovered
there.
And then suddenly we were ‘back at work’. Except that we were in
the same place,
with the same view, with
almost the same routine. It felt odd,
disjointed. It didn’t feel like I was back at work. Took a while to
find the ‘I’m at work mindset’ when nothing else had changed.
It
was a clear reminder on re-establishing
boundaries and routine to signal ‘work’ time and ‘home’ time,
particularly when taking annual leave.
And now…
The
future still feels uncertain, with many unknowns to grapple with. Yet
as some plans get set out to provide direction, more changes are
happening with more on the way. A push, a tug, some movement out of
the stasis we’ve been caught in over the last few weeks… And
that’s made me consider what will help me over the coming weeks and
months.
1. What’s normal anyway?
It’s easy to slip into routine to get through the days. Yet this
has heighten my awareness of how much something unexpected can
suddenly jolt us out of ‘normal’.
So rather than getting frustrated about the unexpected disrupting
routine, as I naturally do,
I’m
trying to celebrate the unexpected in
each day and how I can use it and frame it positively to move
forward.
2. Being comfortable with the uncomfortable
So easy to say! Discomfort of uncertainty is a feeling to avoid,
something to get away from and retreat into a secure space.
Yet looking
to the future those secure spaces may no longer be there and perhaps
the discomfort of uncertainty is a place
where new opportunities arise.
Vital in being
comfortable with the uncomfortable is building
our personal resilience to
give us confidence in bearing the discomfort of uncertainty and
belief in ourselves to find a positive way through.
3. Pay close attention to yourself and adapt
When discomfort and uncertainty prevail, paying attention to what I’m
thinking, how I’m
feeling and what I’m
saying is important. It helps me recognise where I’m at, how I’m
likely to be impacting other people and what my frame of mind is.
Habits
might
not be serving me as well as they used to. And giving myself time to
adapting these now will pay dividends in the future. I
believe I’ll be able to process what’s happening around me more
positively and in doing so help others through whatever changes and
challenges we face.
