What are people saying about you?

Each of us has a sense of self, of who we are and what we believe in, and behave accordingly. Which means it can be a shock to find there are times when, how we intend to come across is not how we’re perceived.

You can read more about how I discovered something about myself this way and what that meant for me.

Finding out more about my reputation has helped me understand myself better and given me greater choice in how I approach and deal with any given situation I find myself in. It’s made me more aware how others perceive my leadership.

If you want to understand whether you’re coming across in the way you intend, what’s a good way to do this?

First, assess yourself

Consider what you’re good at. Be specific. Give context. Observe what skills you use.

What’s your style? Laid back? Directive? Hands on? Supportive?

What have people commented on, complimented you on in the past?

Second, how do you want people to see you? What do you want to be known for?

Be descriptive. Try imagining that someone has asked you for a reference about yourself. If you were to write that reference what would you say? What qualities would you want to draw their attention to?

Then identify specific areas you’d like to check in on

Perhaps you’d like to know how you’re coming across to people you don’t directly manage, but who look to you for direction and decisions?

Perhaps it’s interactions with peers and colleagues around significant/critical decisions?

Perhaps it’s how others see you as you lead the organisation through a period of significant change?

Next, find out more

Asking for feedback can be daunting, it's something I've written about before and here is what I've learnt about receiving feedback.

Perhaps it makes sense to get 360 feedback. Particularly if supported by a third party, this would seek an overall view from a number of people you work with and offer insights as to how you come across to people how may be subordinate, peers, superiors in your organisational structure.

Perhaps 360 feedback is too formal. Instead asking particular individuals specific questions may provide insights that you can pull together to provide yourself with an overview.

If this seems preferable, choose a particular situation.

-      Note how you felt about it, how you thought it went, what happened and the outcome.

-      Identify someone who can provide you with feedback and ask them about the situation preferably using open questions, for example

    o  How did I come across…?

    o  How do you think I handled…?

    o  What could I have done differently…?

-      You may wish to preface why you’re asking them this/these questions, and people are often happy to help if you indicate that their thoughts and opinions will be valuable to you

Conclude

Once you’ve gained the information, you can then assess whether how you wish to come across matches with how others see you.

If there are disparities, what could you do differently that aligns people’s perception closer to how you’d like to be seen?

If they are closely aligned, describe in 3 sentences, what does your reputation say about you?