Day
249
Change
can feel like it's dragging and can then suddenly happen…
It's
a relief that Susan has accepted the role and that she'll start not too long
after Joe finishes. My meeting with Joe today was one of the most positive I've
had with him. I guess having chosen to leave and move on, has helped him let go
of some of his frustration with things that are happening here.
Should
I feel this relieved that he’s going? I guess the guilt of feeling relieved will
stop me!
Just
got to make sure he wraps up some key bits of work before he disappears and he
seemed fine with that when I spoke to him about it. If only things had been like
this before…
Day 250
Seems
that Lucy's interview went well. She said she'd find out tomorrow as to whether
she's got the job. She thanked me for helping her prepare for it. I think it
will be a good mood for her working more and what she enjoys and better maps
with what she does well at.
There’s
a part of me though starting to panic a little as to how I’m going to manage
with two people leaving in short succession. I know I’ll deal with it. But
still, talk about timing!
Also
had a meeting with Paul and was candid with him about how I've been feeling. I
get that the changes about to happen in my team will creating new opportunities,
just transitions like this take so much time.
But
then it’s helping me push away the game-playing that Cathy has been drawing me into.
Found myself going on a charm offensive last week, trying not to bad-mouth her,
yet having to find a way to add weight to my point of view. Not really sure I
have the skills for this. I’ve been talking it over with my coach and I know it’s
all about influencing, just sometimes feels like I have to manipulate situations.
And I don’t like it! But talking it through and digging into why I feel like
this is at least helping me decide on how I can deal with this differently.
Day 251
Lucy got the job. As it is an internal move, she's already present pressing to
transition into a new role quickly, but she’ll have to wait until I recruit. Or
maybe I’m over-reacting? I'm pleased for her just it’s creating a bit of a
headache. Everything is slowing down, and I know that the changes are taking
time, and it’s affecting how people are feeling, I just wish it wasn’t causing
quite so many things to slip and fall behind schedule. It’s going to start to
bite soon, if we can’t show progress and hit our targets.
Day 252
Had
my one-to-one with Mark and was happy to tell him I just received some favourable
feedback - thanks for a good job well done. He looked pleased. I know it's
working progress but at least he's moving in the right direction and it really
hasn't been an easy time.
One
of the things I agreed to do with my coach is keep a positive perspective, so I’m
trying to change these entries into what’s gone well each day.
Hmm…
perhaps it’s something that I’m struggling to write much tonight!
Day 253
I managed to have coffee with Laura and it was good just have a chat for a bit.
She's been vital support these last couple of months especially with Cathy
continuing to manoeuvre behind my back.
We
also talked about the organisational changes and realise that having got bogged
down in all the detail we've lost sight of it of what this is all about. Decided
to set aside time next week to work out what we could do to get some more
positive momentum, as it feels like we could get swamped by all the discontent
if we're not careful.
I
ended the week with a coaching session, third one now. After Paul suggested it,
I really wasn’t sure what to expect or how it would work, but Paul’s been right
it’s helped me work things through confidentially and I’ve found myself
admitting just how frustrated ad isolated I’ve been feeling the last feel
months. It’s been a relief to talk about it though and somehow liberating! I’ve
realised I can handle things differently, I just need to notice when I’m
reacting and try a different approach. Not easy to do, but I came away from the
coaching more energised and positive about things that I have done in a long
time.
And
if nothing else, I’m starting to sleep a little better...
