Look back, to move forward?

Ruminating on the past is something I’ve done many times.

And it’s not particularly productive.

I’ve gotten stuck on all the things I could have should have done differently. Better.

And that’s kept me circling. Anchored. Tethered to something I can’t move on from.

However, there have been numerous times when reflection has helped me unpick challenging moments and learn from them. Seeing how I could have done or shaped things differently for a different outcome and it’s been a powerful way for me to move forward.

So at this moment when so much keeps shifting, sometimes quickly, sometimes imperceptibly, I’ve found that looking back as given me insight to move forward positively.

So what’s the difference between rumination and reflection?

If you’re acquainted with any type of project management process then the term ‘lessons learnt’ will familiar.

It’s the part where reflection and exploration of issues and challenges are unpicked, and recommendations on facing similar situations are brought together.

And after a conversation with someone I work with, it got me thinking about this concept again.

Be warned though, as I have seen happen, lessons learnt should be honest reflections of what happened and not a revisionist view of history where the blame game gets played out!

‘Lessons learnt’ is a time when difficult conversations happen and require a safe space so that people genuinely feel able to say “I could have done that differently” and not hold back for fear of shame or punishment for doing so.

So whether reflecting on the past is just for you, or whether it’s with a team, it’s essential to find the right time, place and frame of mind to make it both positive and productive.

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So what does reflecting really mean in practical terms?

And how do you make the most out of it?

Because unlike rumination, it takes conscious effort and precious time to truly think things through.

Here are my three top tips on how to create value from reflecting:

1.    Turn from rumination to reflection

If you find yourself ruminating about current events – thoughts of what you should have done, try looking back to another time and a difficult challenge you overcame.

• What did you do to help you get through it?

• Who helped you along the way?

• What did you take from that experience?

2.    Apply what you’ve learnt

Well of course – surely that’s obvious?!

Yet I’ve had to pull myself up on more occasions than I’d like to admit. I thought I learnt to do something differently, only to find out later with hindsight that I’d pretty much dealt with it in the same way as I had done before.

The way we deal with situations is likely to be a natural reaction, something unconscious, so it takes thought and effort to apply learning.

• When have you said to yourself ‘that’s useful learning, I must remember that’?

• How truthfully do you remember and apply what you’ve learnt? Or has what you’ve learnt become a story you tell yourself and others?

• What might help trigger you to remember what you’ve learnt, so that you’re more likely to apply that learning?

• Picture yourself a year in the future. What might you regret not doing right now?

• We all have our particular view of any given situation. Whose view point is different from yours? What are they seeing and hearing?

3.    Seeking the positives

What have you done recently, that you’ve felt you’ve done well?

Perhaps that’s been something for you, for someone else, for your team, for your organisation. It can be overwhelming when so much change is happening, too many things feel out of our control.

Reminding ourselves and acknowledging the things we have done well can help bring balance and a different perspective to what’s going on. If you’re like me, then it might take a while to form this into a habit. And our naturally negative, sceptical bias can get in the way.

Yet it’s a discipline that has helped me build and maintain a more positive and optimistic outlook, which makes a difference dealing with the more difficult challenges ahead.

What can you take from your past experiences to help you move forward right now?