How do you deal with empty promises?

I can feel it rumbling, and I try to contain it.

But re-reading the words, my frustration explodes.

Arrgghhhrrrrrr!!!!

I hold my head in my hands for several long seconds.

My palms and fingers pull on my face as I raise my head.

I try to take a deep breath to calm myself. But instead I find myself I forcibly push myself away from my desk. I have to get away before I do something I regret.

“Er, everything okay?”

“I’m just going for a walk”

My office door was open.

I have to get out. I could vent to them, but that wouldn’t be appropriate.

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This deadline’s important. I made that clear. We went through in detail what was vital, and we all agreed on what was required.

So after weeks of work, and endless chasing (email, telephone, face-to-face), to get an email that says ‘oh, sorry, this slipped through the net’ just makes my blood boil.

After a couple of days they send something through. It’s not even close to what’s needed. So I go back to them.

The deadline’s closing in fast, but they seem unbothered. I still just about have their attention somehow, and eventually I get enough from them.

Down to the wire.

I’m tense and tired. But it’s done, just in time.

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Did it really have to be that way?

On the face of it, everybody around the table agreed the plan and acknowledged the actions they would take.

Yet outside of the meetings it felt as though no plan or commitment had been made.

And it wasn’t just one person who appeared to disregard deadlines, but several, each in their own little way.

Easy for them to say they’d do their bit. But if we failed to make the deadline it wouldn’t be ‘we’ feeling the pain.

A simple step back, shrug of the shoulders and

‘sorry, something critical came in at the last minute….’

‘I got caught up in this high-profile initiative that just sucked up all my time…’

And that would be me left high and dry, visible to all, shouldering the consequences.

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It’s déjà vu.

Just as before.

I have the sick anticipation of sleepless nights and sky-high stress levels.

This time I decide to speak to each person individually.

They aren’t going to feel the pain as I do, so what’s in it for them?

I begin to understand what they’ve got on.

I start to create a mental map of all the vital parts of work I need completed and what might pull that person away from doing it.

This time rather than endlessly chase, I try to be more constructive.

I can’t do the work (otherwise I would). I need them.

So I do what I can to make it more likely that they’ll give me what I need, before I hit crisis point.

Deadline done.

There was still last-minute pain, but it wasn’t like last time.

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Perhaps it was the engagement outside of the meeting that helped.

Perhaps it was my understanding of their predicament.

It took a lot of effort. I’m exhausted.

There’s a part of me that feels a little resentful too – why did it have to take that? Why couldn’t they have just delivered what they said they would when they said they would?

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I’m being chased.

There’s a little desperation and frustration in their voice.

I know I’m holding things up. I just have too much on. And my priorities aren’t theirs.

I promise that I’ll get around to it, and I buy as much time as I can.

I put the phone down.

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Heading home, I’m churning the day over. And I realise that there I was, boot on the other foot. Being the person causing pain and frustration.

I pause.

I resolve to myself I’ll get that piece of work done. And whilst it doesn’t make it to the top of the priority list, now I get the consequences for someone else I will keep my promise.