Do you get the post-holiday blues?

Monday morning blues. Post-holiday blues. The kernel of dread at the thought of going back and facing what you left behind and almost let go of.

 

I’ve got that feeling. Though I can’t identify a particular reason why. It’s just there.

 

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I’m in the office.

Unfocused.

Not really getting on with any one particular task. I’m drifting over things. Picking them up and shuffling them around, putting them down again. I’ve done nothing substantive in the last couple of hours.

I cling to the idea that skimming my inbox is a start.

 

That kernel of dread has started to germinate into something more…

 

My itinerant mind suddenly starts to ponder

“Why blue? Why is it the Monday morning blues? What is it about blue?”

 

For the last two weeks blue has been the colour of the sea; deep cool dark indigo graduating to a luminous turquoise. It’s been the colour of the sky; a bright azure smudged white with wispy cloud. It’s been a colour I’ve associated with feeling content and happy.

 

Today the sun is shining and the blue sky is expansive, yet the feeling I have is not the same.

 

I’m not sure if there is a colour that encapsulates how I’m feeling.

There’s a little grey; perhaps reflecting that I’m spending my time indoors focused on a screen. Feeling slightly stifled by the warm air.

A little of a muted green, coming from a sense of anxiety about all the things that I feel I need to get done. Whilst outside is bright and intense, the office is subdued.

 

And perhaps there’s little spark of yellow. A small reminder of a relaxed and tranquil holiday.

 

So I look again at my task list. I pick one. It’s not the highest priority, but it’s caught my eye.

 

Half an hour later and it’s done. Something completed. That feels better.

 

And somehow that’s enough for me to decide to face my inbox. Properly.

 

Eventually I’ve sorted through everything there and categorised my messages. I’ve deleted all those I felt I could. I know what I should deal with straight away and what will wait until a later date. I’ve gone through my calendar and know what’s coming up. I’ve reminded myself of the task still to do and they don’t look as overwhelming as they at first.

And rather than that kernel of dread growing and flowering into a constricting vine of anxiety, I feel more in control, calmer, with a clearer view of what I’m going to do next.

I look out of the window at the blue sky and I promise myself that I’ll take a break later and treat myself to sitting outside for a while to enjoy the sunshine.

 

Later I realise how glad I am that I’ve been able to keep this first day meeting free. It’s helped me get back into my ‘work mode’ and perhaps given myself just a little bit of space to acknowledge and accept that my holiday is now over and that rather than continuing to mourn for lazy days, there are exciting times ahead. Now is the time nurture that little spark of yellow into something that blazes more brightly and enjoy the blue for all the feel-good memories it brings.