What's the best to help someone progress?

There’s a cold lump in my stomach.

I’ve been thinking about how I can best phrase this.

I know what I want to say, but I’m worried how much it might upset them.

But neither do I want to falsely raise their hopes and expectations, tell them the things they want to hear, see and feel their disappointment when it doesn’t come to pass, or they get what they want and are then crushed by expectation, overwhelmed by the work they thought they were ready for and just weren’t expecting.

Perhaps that’s me, and my narrow vision on the situation.

Perhaps that’s me, being cautious and overly protective.

Perhaps that’s me, having been through it and not wishing it on someone else.

I want them to do well, to progress, to be rewarded for their work and to gain recognition that they’ve grown and have the right skills and capabilities to step up. It gives me a great sense of pleasure when someone progresses.

So how do I best help this person?

I’ve read job descriptions, I seen others in similar roles, I have a clear view of what I’d be looking for from a person in that role.

So I start with all the things that match up. Their strengths, just how close they are to operating at the level I’d expect to see at the higher grade. It’s good.

Then the bits that aren’t quite there. Does it matter? Could they do it anyway?

Then of course promotion is never easy. Past performance can work in your favour and can also work against. People want proof. They want to see you can do it already. Which means doing and showing you’re doing the job before you get it. Consistently.

So what does that mean for this person?

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We’re meeting. And that lump in my stomach is sitting there, causing a chill to run through me.

I start. Firstly, exploring what it is that they enjoy about their job, what they find challenging and the work they’re most proud of. Then we start to look ahead.

They express their interest in moving up a grade. So we talk about promotion. What it might take. Where it might lead.

The chill is spreading.

I observe to them all the things they do well, and how that fits with where they want to be.

Then I outline what I think they will have to demonstrate, which they haven’t done so obviously before.

Silence.

“But what does that mean? I’m doing that already”

The chill has spread to my hands, and I have a cold sweat glistening on my palms.

I share with them an example. What happened, what they did and what they might have done differently. I try to illustrate the difference. To describe how doing it differently would demonstrate the skill that a promotion case would be strengthened by.

“Oh”

We discuss a few more examples.

But now they look a little daunted, and sound perhaps a little frustrated? Disappointed?

So I try to break it down. And suggest a couple of first steps. Some situations that may give them opportunity and experience, and a chance to begin to show others that they have the capability.

We talk it through, but it’s not what they wanted to hear.

We talk about time frame, about their expectations. We talk about what they might do and what this might mean for promotion. And we agree to meet again. To review again and to talk this through again.

And it feels like we’re both now more clear, on what each of us will do and what that means for them going for a promotion.

The cold lump in my stomach is beginning to thaw. The conversation was not easy. More than anything, I wanted to feel that I had done right by that person.

By finding a way to express my thoughts and what support I felt I could offer, I believe I have done the best I can for them.